i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
