ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize