He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
