Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.