you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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