I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
