Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize