you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
