I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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