There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
