Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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