i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
