Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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