your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
