If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
