Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
