New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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