Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
