I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
