New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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