For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
