living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
