Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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