babies were throwing up all over the place
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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