Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
