do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
