If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
