Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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