real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she smelled like a LAN party
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
