Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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