party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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