I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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