So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
