please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
