I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
