I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was not drunk enough for that final.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
