I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
