i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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