Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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