found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
