He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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