is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize