I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
