We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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