I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize