I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
