do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize