HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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