Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
