You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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