I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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