He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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