i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He shit in the fireplace
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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