i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
