Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
