I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
