walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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