Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Whod you bang

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  (313): Whod you bang http://tfl.nu/rw3i
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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  (507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be http://tfl.nu/9ozv
  Replies (29) Good night (4590) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (1005) Bad night (7859)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just realized these events may be related.

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  (352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd
  Replies (21) Good night (6552) Bad night (2133)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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  (973): So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it http://tfl.nu/ct20
  Replies (29) Good night (5296) Bad night (1680)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during

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  (541): I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during http://tfl.nu/1ah0
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (3089)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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  (832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao
  Replies (9) Good night (3781) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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  (614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4
  Replies (4) Good night (3702) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god

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  (845): you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god http://tfl.nu/778n
  Replies (10) Good night (2663) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up

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  (214): Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up http://tfl.nu/l4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"

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  (519): Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy" http://tfl.nu/ca96
  Replies (6) Good night (2196) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

  (626): View more from California

  And a merry methadone to all

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  (909): It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me (626): And a merry methadone to all http://tfl.nu/a55x
  Replies (2) Good night (1050) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.

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  (317): I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis. http://tfl.nu/cvxz
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Only if you died obviously.

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  (857): Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you. (857): Only if you died obviously. http://tfl.nu/keit
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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  (306): yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate http://tfl.nu/3igr
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (263)

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