I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.