Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I can text with my tongue

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  (716): I can text with my tongue http://tfl.nu/gbw1
  Replies (23) Good night (3248) Bad night (647)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (153) Good night (66268) Bad night (3734)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok

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  (330): yah i'm on my way- is everything ok? (1-330) i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok http://tfl.nu/s4ag
  Replies (35) Good night (1075) Bad night (7215)
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer

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  (310): I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer http://tfl.nu/kzvv
  Replies (8) Good night (4422) Bad night (660)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

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  (717): this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation http://tfl.nu/knkc
  Replies (12) Good night (2410) Bad night (3163)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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  (402): Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR. http://tfl.nu/vjij
  Replies (25) Good night (7317) Bad night (859)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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  (727): I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake. http://tfl.nu/tfkj
  Replies (12) Good night (5511) Bad night (1139)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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  (203): We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved. http://tfl.nu/1hyb
  Replies (31) Good night (5897) Bad night (915)
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  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (1004) Bad night (7859)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.

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  (402): You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes. http://tfl.nu/0q3l
  Replies (18) Good night (6760) Bad night (1029)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

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  (443): The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/hkf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1512) Bad night (920)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.

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  (615): That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly. http://tfl.nu/01h2
  Replies (7) Good night (1901) Bad night (602)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".

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  (603): From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon". http://tfl.nu/l6av
  Replies (7) Good night (1599) Bad night (893)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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  (314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm
  Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (1040)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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  (913): The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay. http://tfl.nu/vu6p
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (114)

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