Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced

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  (419): watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced http://tfl.nu/2xlb
  Replies (35) Good night (936) Bad night (3297)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (816): peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/fl0l
  Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (1440)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.

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  (770): You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month. http://tfl.nu/j1wm
  Replies (3) Good night (1561) Bad night (745)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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  (720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (1074)
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  (805): View more from California

  how many dildos make it a "collection?"

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  (805): how many dildos make it a "collection?" http://tfl.nu/3sue
  Replies (12) Good night (1630) Bad night (1131)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...

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  (615): He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing... http://tfl.nu/wirp
  Replies (13) Good night (577) Bad night (2117)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

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  (832): Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL. http://tfl.nu/25yr
  Replies (3) Good night (1825) Bad night (577)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?

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  (972): Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney? http://tfl.nu/omqz
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (600)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm on the job.

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  (812): The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory. (503): I'm on the job. http://tfl.nu/qjws
  Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (407)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.

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  (480): It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/0fqk
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (371)
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  (805): View more from California

  THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall

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  (805): THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall http://tfl.nu/p5vc
  Replies (7) Good night (602) Bad night (418)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers

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  (+44): I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers http://tfl.nu/zya2
  Replies (4) Good night (725) Bad night (372)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?

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  (651): WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED? (612): WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH? http://tfl.nu/zn4r
  Replies (0) Good night (865) Bad night (328)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.

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  (502): I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation. http://tfl.nu/96ys
  Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (546)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one

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  (586): And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one http://tfl.nu/1fdn
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (147)

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