Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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(404): View more from Georgia

He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.

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(626): View more from California

she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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(530): View more from California

If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...

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(315): View more from New York

someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.

(303): View more from Colorado

Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.

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(827): View more from

THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS

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