whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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