I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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